Of rainbows and resilience

I have always had a thing for a metaphors. Thinking and speaking in metaphors just helps me elaborate the feeling, and perhaps contain it’s intensity.

Increasingly, I feel like I’m the rainbow after a storm. Unyielding, refusing to dim out.

The bright lovely sunshine after a night of destruction. The one that makes you wonder if the storm even occurred.

I’m the strength, the resilience, the courage, the one that I didn’t know existed. But now I do.



My Year in a Flashback

2018 was one hell of a year. In terms of career, family, friends etc etc. You name it. But most of all, it was a career defining year.

From private practice to entrepreneurship to PhD synopsis to the 9-5 life, I saw it all.

The things I’m particularly proud of this year are: getting rid of a toxic boss and a toxic friend.

I traveled on my own for the first time too, shortly after my birthday. So that’s a first alhamdolilah.

In the spirit of ending the year right, I made a health related decision I’m super proud of. Kudos to me for everything I have lost, learnt and let go this year!

Looking forward to what 2019 has in store for me.

On Resilience

One of the greatest survival tools you can have is the quality of being resilient. Resilience is basically the ability to bounce back after an adversity and growing out of it.

It’s like that tree, which stands tall after weathering a storm. Bent, but not broken. Come to think of it, after going through a difficult situation, we become stronger, the strength we were previously unaware of, the courage we didn’t even know we had.

If you’re lucky, you could be born with a knack for being resilient, but if not, it can be nurtured and learnt. It’s not rocket science. It’s about looking ahead, trying to figure out the lessons from the adversity and finding the hidden solutions.

It takes practice, but it’s worth it. shutterstock_533848210

On Transitions

Life is full of surprises, some not so pleasant.

I’d like to envision life as a series of phases, strung together by chains. Those chains being the transitions. They are like phases, only less stable, just like chains holding together compartments of a train.

Now transitions aren’t particularly fun to be at. They can be daunting, overwhelming, confusing.. imagine dangling by a chain on rail-track. Not so cool, right. But they are a very important part of life and that whole change-is-the-only-constant cliche.

Transitions can be an opportunity to look within. If only you are willing enough. They can be a window to our selves. They are somewhat slow-paced, directionless. But perhaps they can help us set the direction of the train of life again. Because after all, beginnings are born out of endings. Like the rebirth of a star.



I believe at some point, we all are bound to go thru them. Just like life’s many phases and unexpected jolts. Share some transition-wisdom down below!

In the end, no matter how bad this phase is, remember: this is not how it ends, this is how it begins! Onto better things! Love x.




Blind Optimism

I hate too much optimism, it disgusts me. There I said it.

How much is too much? Well, they say it right that too much of anything is bad, even optimism. Blind optimism, if that’s a thing, is what I’m talking about. Being unrealistically optimistic – that’s what I mean.

Why do I hate it? Because it clouds your judgment. It makes you look at life through rose-colored glasses. It makes us happy, momentarily, and odds are that we overlook some important details what what needs to be achieved. It’s kinda counterproductive in a sense that it gives you a laid back, cheerful outlook.

You know when people say, “Everything will get better”, I want to virtually slap them because that’s a false statement. Some things may get better, some things might not. Okay now that sounds infinitely rational and better. People tell us to have a positive outlook, how about realistic and balanced?

Why or how can I be positive when I am dying from inside?

I could go on and on about this considering how enthusiastic I am about depressive realism, but let’s save that for when I have nothing to write about. Do let me know what you guys think.



Shift of Perspective

Oh hi there, look who’s here (that rhymed!)

Here I am this is me, there’s no where else on Earth I’d rather be (points for correctly guessing the reference)

Umm well actually not really, I would definitely rather be somewhere else, but I’m satisfied with my current state as well. So yeah, updates are such that I moved rooms, pretty much settled by now, but the shift of room aka perspective was much needed, long over due and just what I needed. Don’t ask me why or how it happened – that’s a long boring story. But cheers for me that I got it across this time, with success, of course. *cheers*

The room is a bit away from the living room, so its with less noise, interruptions and whatnot. I absolutely love the silence. I hope it brings with it the clarity I could definitely use. I’m been engrossed with the room decor, kinda sorta halfway thru it. It’s a nice break from thesis writing and I don’t mind that sort of a distraction. Plus playing with colors has always been my thing.

Feels good to blog after a while. As always, I’m making a mental note of writing often. Writing is therapeutic, like cooking. Both are creative too. Speaking of which I made this apple sauce thingy as a food experiment that I am so fond of doing. It turned out nice. Juicy and lemony (I added lemon juice).

So I get off, only to write another post. Stay tuned!

P.S. I don’t own the image.

On Happiness

Happiness, by definition is “A state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant, a good share of the time.”

It  seems to work wonders, like a great medicine. When we are thinking pleasant thoughts, we think, perform and feel better. Research has proven that our memory is highly improved when we are thinking pleasant thoughts. An old Dutch proverb “Happy people are never wicked” concludes that happiness and criminality cannot co-exist. It shows that the hostility towards others is brought about by our own unhappiness. Though we usually put the cart before the horse but this will never be near truth if we say “Be happy and you will be good, more successful, healthier”.  We must understand happiness is not to be earned or deserved. Therefore, if we wait until we ‘deserve’ to think pleasant thoughts and be happy, we are likely to think unpleasant thoughts concerning our own unworthiness. We do not live, nor enjoy life in the present moment, but we wait for some magical future event or occurrence to make us feel happy.

In truth, happiness is a choice, it’s a habit.  If you continue to regularly feed your subconscious mind with happy thoughts, it would become habitual. We indeed have the freedom to choose happiness since it is a state of mind. It’s simple, but most of us do not see the simplicity of the key to happiness. When we choose to be happy, it brings a sense of well-being in all areas of our life – whereas, we unconsciously choose unhappiness. We need to become aware of our inner dialogue. Catch ourselves being overly critical and negative towards our self.

We often try to buy happiness by purchasing things – a high definition TV, the latest car, expensive designer clothes, a fine house, but happiness cannot be bought in that way. Wealth in itself will not make you happy. A promotion or honour will not yield happiness. The truth is that happiness is a mental state, irrespective of what you have or don’t have. Your happiness lies in bridging the gap between your subconscious and conscious mind by tapping into the hidden power of the subconscious.


The Power of Your Subconscious Mind – Dr Joseph Murphy


I came across this article written in 2008  😀




Self-Created Misery

Hi. I’m back with some whining (no surprise).

Speaking of which, I think whining keeps us sane. Yes?

So yeah, I’m having a lot of fun in my self-created misery bubble. Not only its perpetually grumpy but also with a dash of gloomy and irritability. Sounds nice, doesn’t it?

I swear I have no idea what’s causing this misery to stick to me like some clingy girlfriend or superglue (whichever’s worse). I’m finding hard to take interest in anything.  Like anything at all. Please feel free to diagnose me.

To keep myself from dying of boredom, I might as well end up here. But guess what, I don’t feel like writing much either! -_-

Okay bye. Laptop battery dying, just like my motivation to write anything more.




Back Again!

Beach sunrise with lighthouse

Beach sunset with lighthouse

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Okay looks like I am overexcited to be back, which I kind of am. It wouldn’t be fair to say I haven’t written anything decent in a while, because *pause for effect* I maintain a formal bloggy thing now called Brain Knittngs! Check it out at http://www.brainknittings.com and connect on the social media accounts (shameless self promotion) Okay whatever!

It feels incredibly good to be back in my own cosy space. Although I have nothing on my mind as such, to talk about but still. I just thought to check on this blog and see if its still breathing.

Soooo yes. That is about it. I will try (not promising) to write here more often now that University is off and I have more time, or do I? So when I am not cooking a mess in the kitchen or fighting with my mom, I will come here and scribble my thoughts, and you can see if that makes any sense to you? Not that it has to.


P.S. The image has nothing to do with my current life status, but I have a thing for lighthouses. And the picture is soothing. Kbye.

Queen Cinderella

Well, hello there! Look who’s back – the Queen herself! *please bear with my grandiosity or there’s the exit door*

You know winter is in the air when you are happy without a reason. Though one should be happy without a reason, that way happiness is not dependent on any thing, event or person (worst case). Right, so that is lesson # 1. Never depend on something or someone. Believe me when I say depending on a person for your happiness is the worst thing cuz people are not here to stay. They leave, abandon, die, move on, become estranged. I could go on and on about dependency and attachments. And as much as I hate being attached to people, it happens faster than lightning. Maybe we can save another post for that.

Queen Cinderella MMVII

Anyhow I think I am having an existential crisis. Finally my quarter-life crisis (please look it up) is over but I guess crises have developed an attachment (oops) with me. Speaking of the newest crisis, I can’t seem to decide whether I am the Queen or Cinderella. Polar opposites I get it, who knows it might be a new type of bipolar disorder. *this is what being a psych major does to you* Where was I? Yes, so I am torn between these two. People ask me if I enjoy the youngest child I privileges of being pampered, and I say to myself its more like Cinderella. Forever unappreciated.

Without further elaborating (read:whining) on that, I shall end this post. Cuz I have kinda sorta promised myself to catch myself short of any negative thoughts! So, true to my promise, keep away the whining. Good day!