On Love

I fundamentally disagree with those who say love is blind. Love is never blind. Infatuation is. Love is all-seeing, all-accepting, all-embracing. It does not judge, does not complain. Love is acceptance of all the flaws, all the ugliness. It is never the urge to change. And if anyone demands that we change, we should shun them away, for in our flaws lies our beauty. It is indeed hard to accept others as they are, with their imperfections, but when you do that, you truly experience the joy of loving someone. Love is a celebration of flaws.

And yet, love is the most misused word ever.

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Parenting – you are doing it wrong

 

 

Coming from personal experience, I think what children need most is respect. Love and care is a motherly instinct. But respect is often over-looked. Acceptance of who they are is also crucial, especially when entering adulthood, because negative feedback from parents never goes away. Feelings buried alive never die. Evaluation from parents means the world to children. Often mothers complain to fathers about the poor behaviour of kids. I wonder if the mothers realise how soul-shattering it is for the kids in the long run. And how much it debilitates their relationship with their father, and humiliates them in their hero’s eyes. I don’t think any mother goes that far in the future, yet parents do everything in our best interest, how ironic is that. 

Good News for Night Owls

Ever wondered why we are more creative at night? Here’s why:

Many people especially writers and artists report that they are at their creative best when it’s dark. It goes out to say that smart people sleep late. Scientific evidence points that people with high IQ tend to stay up late at night because of increased brain activity in the right hemisphere of the brain. Apparently, the left brain shuts off at night. Since creativity and imagination is the domain of right brain there can be a possible biological explanation for the phenomenon.

When a person is tired or drunk, he experiences a freely floating state of mind. He can’t pay attention or sort out problems or plan things, because his frontal lobe of the brain is affected. Same goes for when we stay up late, we are exhausted from the demands of the day, and our brain wanders off into a world of its own. The silence and loneliness can be a creative advantage. As night approaches, the walls of our mind start to break down. There are no barriers and inhibitions. The combination of deep thoughts and disorganization produces creativity. This is when the best comes out of your mind, and often upon waking, you are surprised at your masterpiece.

Needless to say, night time is a peaceful time. No distractions, interruptions and noises. Most people around you are asleep, hence there is no mental chatter going on. You can be who you are, tune in and listen to yourself. You can toss the rationality out the door and unwind yourself. This is when you can let your thoughts flow spontaneously. You are not worried about deadlines or perfection, you are just letting loose. Just like in dreams, where there is no right or wrong.

Rock on night owls!

Freestyle Cooking

So there I go again! One thing I go for when I’m bored is, head to the kitchen and cook something I’ve never made before. More like freestyle cooking basically. I like being creative in the kitchen, experimenting. No recipes, no preparation. Just jump aboard and steer the boat.

My fondness for cooking is recent, and I owe it pretty much to my big brother. He is a foodie and his love of eating turned into my love for cooking.  My interest began few years ago and I owe it to BBC Food besides my brother. The savoury dishes and the kitchen ambiance made me fall in love with cooking. I remember watching episodes of Masterchef and wistfully thinking if only I could be an international chef able to make different cuisines. I started digging into recipe books and tuning in local food channels. My mother nodded in approval.

But not so much as I hardly cook desi food. My personal favorites are just what my brother loves, pasta of all types, salads, snacks and sandwiches. I started off with following recipes I found here and there, and of course those that big bro emailed me 😉 I even took the liberty to bake and voila, I loved it too! These days I’m more into freestyle cooking, like I said before. It is more interesting and innovative. No one can say, this isn’t how so-and-so dish is made, huh. 😛
Anyway, I’ll go off to the kitchen and cook 😀 You guys feast your eyes on these!

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Fine Line Between Ego and Self-respect

Hello, this is my self-respect speaking… May I have a word with you?

How often do we get confused by the traps of ego and self-respect? Let’s do a quick analysis of what separates the two and save us from trouble.

Being self-assured and confident is having self-respect. Your own value of yourself, your worth is self-respect. It is a strength.

While in a  striking contrast, ego is linked with insecurity and fear. It is  a weakness of character. Ego is negative self-obsession, leading us to arguments and anger whereas self-respect leads us to stability and peace.

P.S. Trust me, I’m a shrink in the making 😉

Anti-Marriage Post

Warning: Do not read if you are married. It might make you rebel. 😉

To be honest, sometimes I feel like marriage is just fighting and pretending you are happily married. If not this, then it is all about compromise, on all sorts of things. *Sigh* Who wants to get tied anyway? If marriage comes with independence, it’s acceptable. Otherwise, I think it must be suffocating, at some point. Mentally suffocating. How can you live on the demands and wishes of another person, even more so, a man. Most girls don’t always conform to their parents values. How then, can they live by their men’s ideas, or worse still, by his family’s values. 

I am aware that I sound like a rebellious teenage girl. But sometimes, raising your voice is not bad 🙂 I secretly wish my Dad reads this post haha. Come to think of it, a quote by Albert Camus comes to mind “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” I want to be free, live my life by my rules, wishes and values. Not by a man I am handcuffed with. Sorry guys, if this is a prick to the macho-man in you.

Just recently I’m drawn into art and craft, and that too by pure accident. A couple of birthdays in the family made me get going. And today, by sheer serendipity, I landed on a colourful box of ‘mithai’ – a perfect addition to my craft supplies. Yay.

Feelings for Sale

Life is overrated. Okay, at least sometimes it is!

I don’t know why but social gatherings make me nauseate. Especially if it comes with ‘mehmandari’. Typically in our culture, when you have to be so uptight and nifty about everything. All that formality is  just not my thing. I like calm, peace and quiet. And I think seeing someone is more about meeting, and less about eating. Well, yeah I am a bit socially misfit in our culture.

Speaking of which, I totally differ with the fact that girl’s after marriage face dictation from in-laws. Particularly on things like seeing her parents. In some families, the in-laws decide. I mean what the.. Who are they? And why do their values and rules apply on her? So weird. There’s one thing I can never put up with – Oppression. Of any sort. Oppression is like a negation of feelings. What are feelings made of anyway? I wish they were made of something tangible, perhaps only then they could be more valuable.

P.S. Meaty Eid Mubarak.

What if

What if everything you knew was just an illusion? We spend our lives in a hope for better days, and then end up just the same. It’s like running after a mirage. Maybe this life is a mirage. Worth nothing and a trap of deception. Reality is nothing but the creation of our own mind, and when we die, it dies with us.

New life

I just started junior year at Uni. Being senior is fun and does feel good. Most of my classmates find coming to Uni a drudgery, often I catch them whine about the monotonous routine, I just smile back in answer but inside I know how happy and grateful I am with this change in life. God even answers unspoken prayers. The two years of staying home have changed me, in the sense that I now initiate small talk and reach out to strangers contrary to being reserved. There was a time when I used to wonder if people like me, why do I not fit in, but now I wonder if I like them, and if they are worthy of friendship. 

Oddly, we are still settling in the new house. Moving around furniture and changing wall hangings is still happening. And might happen for a long time as Dad is fond of changing the interiors. Oh and also, him and I are building a reading room. This has to be a dream come true. I always wanted a room (preferably my bedroom) to be book-lined. This is something I used to imagine, 

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Cuz in the end; “If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.” – Cicero.

On a side note, winter is just about kicking in, and honest to God, I’m loving the feeling. I hope this is gonna be a long, warm and memorable winter. Cheers!

Back to basics

After like nearly 2 years I’m blogging again. I felt this urge to write and here I ended up. I finally feel like I’m back in the world, out in the open.. and hence I must allow myself to express. I hope in these few years, I have changed for better.. become more mature, tolerant, forgiving.. Apart from sharing thoughts I would be blogging about everything that interests me, so to say- my hobbies. This would be more like a diary of record, which I can savour over time, and of course my future readers. Happy blogging to me, and happy reading to you!